The Power of Vulnerability

Brene Brown draws out feeling, emotions and recognition in her speech tilted “The Power of Vulnerability”.  This speech can be found on Brown’s website brenebrown.com.  Following Fogg's Behavior Change Model, Brown uses motivation, abilities and triggers to help us as the listener have a better understanding of shame and vulnerability that we all experience in our lives.  She then leaves us with the ability to use that information to be a better person.

According to BJ Fogg, three elements must be present in order for a behavior to change. Motivation, ability and triggers.  With all three elements present, we can change our behaviors, permitting us to live our lives in a more positive way.

Brown, who titles herself a research story teller, believes that connection is the reason we are here and what gives purpose and meaning to our lives.  We are wired to feel connection.  While doing her research she concluded that the shame that people feel is really a disconnection from others.   So Brown set out to deconstruct shame.  She says that shame, the fear of disconnection, or the belief that “I am not (fill in the blank) enough” causes excruciating vulnerability.  Since vulnerability is often seen as a characteristic of weakness, we often find that we opt out of being vulnerable which leaves us struggling for love, belonging and being worthy. This is very persuasive, as these characteristics are all things we long to possess and are motivated to have.

Motivation

Brown set out to deconstruct shame from a scientifical standpoint, to uncover the reasons why we defy vulnerability.  She knew that she herself hated being vulnerable, so this was her chance thru research to understand or overcome vulnerability.  This became her motivation.  As she began her research she became more and more motivated to understand what gave the people she interviewed a sense of worth, or a sense of loving, which she titles “whole hearted people”.  In essence she was searching for what caused some people to frame things in a more painful, fearful, not worthy way versus what allowed others to live their life with a sense of worthiness and love.  What gives these people compassion, courage and the ability to connect? What gives these whole hearted people the courage to be imperfect? 

Abilities

According to Fogg, ability falls under the simplicity factor. Fogg says, "In order to perform a target behavior, a person must have the ability to do so".  How hard or easy is it to become more vulnerable?  Does it involve time, money, effort, social deviance and so forth.  In Brown's case, in the simplest form possible she desired to know how vulnerability related to the ability to be a whole hearted person.  This required time and effort.   Because she was motivated, she sought out a therapist who help her learn about and become vulnerable.  Most of us have the ability to be vulnerable, to love and be a “whole hearted person”.

Triggers

The last component necessary to change behavior is to have a trigger.  Triggers can vary, however Fogg points out three specific triggers: facilitator, signal and spark.  In Brown's case, her research was the facilitator.  Through her research, she saw a pattern of vulnerability with those that she considered to be “whole hearted”.  This sparked her curiosity. What are the choices contrary to the norm that the “whole hearted” are making?  She makes compelling arguments as to why being vulnerable is so essential to our well-being.

Process Premises

Brown has a very humorist approach to persuade and motivate us to desire for change.  She touches on all the areas of the process premises in her speech including needs, emotions, attitudes, consistency.

We all have the need to feel connected.  We all on some level feel shame out of fear of not being connected.  This shame makes us feel vulnerable.  We try to avoid vulnerability as it does not bring us pleasure.  What she discovered however, is that when we numb ourselves from vulnerability we inadvertently hamper our ability to experience things in life such as joy, gratitude and happiness. Brown appeals to our need to have such positive emotions, which will avoid the alternative of feeling unhappy and depressed.  Brown has a very positive attitude and with ease, insists that we as well can win our lives back.  She conveys that life is imperfect, but we are worthy of being loved and capable of being amazing.  We must be consistent in allowing ourselves to be vulnerable.  She suggests that when we let ourselves been seen, love without any guarantees,  practice gratitude and joy instead of worrying about what catastrophe is around the corner and believing that we are enough, it will allow all of us to be better people.   

Brown took these three elements: motivation, trigger and abilities to make a change in her life.  Through this process she claims she won her life back.  By learning to be vulnerable she could work better, love better, and be a better mother and a better person.  By her being vulnerable to her own audience, she was motivational and left the listeners persuaded and excited with the possibility of allowing vulnerability into their lives, thus creating an improved more joyous fulfilled life.